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Where’s my balance?

“Balance” is a word that has started to show up a lot in my life lately.

Its been a topic at several work meetings this past week, both at Baptiste and Starbucks. Its shown up in my yoga practices (I’ve done a lot of falling lately) and has popped up in articles and quotes as I scroll across my news feed.

Okay, Universe. Thank you, I get the hint. Balance is something I really need to address!

Many times we think and speak about balance as though it is an entity we have to find Right? We’ve all heard the phrases “find balance” or “lost my balance”. We speak about balance as though it is something that is lurking just around the corner, and we will happen to stumble across it after we finish our big project at work, after we finish training for a marathon, after we get a promotion, after we buy a house, etc. By the same token, we think of it as something that we can lose easily once we have it.

For many of us, balance is this ephemeral entity that is always just out of reach, or in our grasp for a short moment before slipping through our fingers.

In order to truly gain balance in our lives, we have to stop thinking of it in this way. Here’s a NEWSFLASH that I discovered this week:

Balance cannot be lost or found, it must be created.

We create balance through the decisions we make every day about what is important to us. It arises when when we decide to create space in our lives. Sometimes that means we have to give things up, and this might be hard. But if balance is something we say we are committed to in our lives, then more likely than not we will have to release some of the things that are keeping us from having that space.

I know for me, I recently (as in, yesterday) had to give up the idea that to be successful, I need to be at both jobs as much as possible. I had to release my need in the front of the mind of all my bosses, managers, and coworkers, constantly showing them how dedicated, hard-working, and passionate I am. I have to trust that they know these things, and will continue to know and acknowledge them.

I have to give up working out. Not completely, but it was starting to infiltrate my life a little too much. My yoga practice is the most important movement in my life, and if running, GPP, TRX, and swimming are taking time away from that practice, or away from sleep, rest, or other soul-feeding activities, then its time to let the more strenuous/depleting activities go for a while.

I have to give up time spent doing silly things on the internet. Blog-stalking, pinterest, facebook, and HBOgo are great time-wasters, but deciding to engage in those things rather than read nourishing material, journal, or sleep is a habit that I desperately need to break.

I realize that I have been trying to be successful at any cost. Rather than creating space for balance, I was trying to do it all. For me, this is a difficult line to decipher. I often believe that I can do anything and everything, and that I won’t get tired, run-down, or depleted. This just isn’t true! I am amazing, powerful, smart, and passionate, but I can’t do it all. I hate admitting that, but is true–its true for all of us!